I have a lot to say about anger, we all get angry but we forget to rationalise in the moment. We feel betrayed and want to hurt the other person. I’ve experienced these before and honestly anger can go two ways, one is pettiness (temporary feeling) and the other is being able to contain the emotion.
My relationship with anger has been a track record. Why do I say that you ask? Well because I’ve been hurt and felt like a fool before, when there’s always been a red flag or a sign.
When it came to friendship there were signs that pointed out this person had pretty much overstayed their welcome in this friendship. I refused to listen I was so stubborn that I forced the friendship. Being angry is completely normal, but blaming yourself for someone’s actions is not it.
Even in my relationships, one of my exes for example I loved him so much, but love should not be the only reason to stay. When the relationship ended I blamed his friends, a small part of me still does. I know it’s not their fault however my ex had a habit of blaming other people, even when he decided on the choices he made himself and then take it out on me. It led to me despising his friends. One of the main reasons was being kind to them and then finding out they all knew the truth and couldn’t look me in the eyes, or before that one of them being unfriendly. That’s when everything I felt then it all exploded. A part of me wanted to scream at everyone but then again why blame a third party when the person you loved chose to hurt you.That’s when you start to shake it off and pick yourself up, the road to recovery and healing wasn’t easy, sometimes it still isn’t.
Bargaining in a friendship or a relationship - even if it’s something you may or may not have done you beg the person telling them you’ll promise you’ll change. It’s a temporary promise or it can either be genuine. When you lose a friend you expect to go back to the way it used to be but that won’t last, you’re ignoring the underlying truth. Some friendships are there for you to learn from and to grow.
Also when you’re at this stage of bargaining, the person will love bomb you. Love bombing is when the person manipulates and influences your decision, they will tell you how much they love you. You’re the love of their life. It goes on until you change your mind. A manipulation tactic, that instantly makes you forget the individuals actions.
So remember this please do not get confused with compromise and bargaining 2 very different things. Compromise is healthy and finding a balance, bargaining is begging to do all the things a person had promised to do for a long time ago. Bargaining is temporary and doesn’t last long.
Being angry is healthy but staying in that feeling isn’t. It’s accepting the situation knowing that you couldn’t change it but forgiving the people. Forgiveness is difficult but it sets your mind free from feeling all this hate and negative processing.
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