Food for thought

You’ll come to different peaks in your life and suddenly you realise you are on your own journey.

Being on my own path has been hard. I cannot guarantee that everyday is great but I can say this, some days you’ll miss everything from your past you’ll feel scared and lonely. This is my mind and heart feeling too comfortable in a place where I know I need to move on from. Fear is an obstacle it perpetuates resistance and presents to me never ending long number of excuses to stop me leaving. If I’m stuck in a routine it means I’m too comfortable and not fulfilling what God has planned for me. 

The downside of rushing myself to heal too quickly can feel as if some days I want to bury myself  under my pillows and duvet and allow this negative emotion to ruin my whole day. 10 mins later I realise I’m being too hard on myself, I’m pressuring myself to get to where my friends are. It is exhausting to catch up with where my friends are in their life, I do struggle to remind myself to slow down I’m going through my own storm and so are they.  I may not be going in the same life path as them. 

Loving yourself is one of the difficult things to do, I had allowed myself to be at a place where my mental health was deteriorating. Whoever is reading this I understand some of you may be feeling but remember to put yourself first, we sacrifice our souls for temporary things. No matter how much comfort or happiness you believe you have, you are the one that owns this soul and mind. 

Let us think of ourselves as plants that need to be watered constantly, so what happens if we don’t water it for weeks? If you and I are thinking the same thing, yes the plant is dead. Remember to put yourself first, the constant negative energy that you have absorbed will ruin you, that was me at some points in my life. I fed myself from different energies where I realised I was lost. I’m not perfect I admit that, but I knew I stopped loving myself. Instead of spending time with myself, I looked for happiness everywhere I could get, most times it was all temporary and I did get lost in the moment.

Now I know I’m still healing and learning but I am happier than I’ve ever been. I can say this, time is one of the biggest factors, things didn’t happen instantly for me but I can already see there is a difference in me.